Thursday, July 31, 2008 / 8:57 AM
wowowow!~ here i am with this emo blogskin creating a new blog after several not-to-be-published-ex-blogs. initially i wanted a more lovey-dovey blogskin but hey! i'm not supposed to ignite tat. tho they are really nice and cute and sweet. not for me. YET. =) but dun you think this one is pretty cool too? i'll get my pony tails back. real soon. be patient yah. hee. hmm.. wad makes me wanna open up another new blog? i guess i have too much to think about. or rather i have been tasked to think about too many stuff and i realised i type faster than i write (esp when i write neatly and so serenely =X).
well. recently i have been thinking about alot of questions that i have absolutely no answers to and that scares me coz it revolves around the reason for my existence. and how i wish God can quickly tell me all the answers to my questions.
Questions like:
What's my purpose in life? what's the reason for my existence?
What are my goals and aims in life?
Why do i wanna achieve them?
How to achieve them?
Ans so what after i have done so?
and the list goes on and on. and it really scares me much.
i guess i have been put into my family to help out on various chores and duties that must be done by someone who's not busy with stuff. tat's me. now. holidays. haha. i guess tat makes me quite helpful and useful. other than tat. i still gotta find answers to them.
i guess from now on, i will be super random and just type wadeva comes to my mind. i wan to spare myself the pain of having to arrange nicely and properly for an essay or something for pple to scrutinise. crap. there's basically no model answer for blogs. and i really thank God for that. haha. i mean if the way you express yourself is so restricted then do it not. it'll be sure a chore. great chore. yup. so many things running thru my mind. aren't they tired? they must be panting and begging me to quickly record them down so i can get a betta sound sleep tonight.
as always, the past has came knocking time after time. are they haunting me? you bet. but still i noe they are there for a purpose. and i hope it's not gonna be destructive as they always are. constructive and destructive.. just 3 letters different from each other yet they make such immeasureable difference practically. err.. bascially i dunnoe wad i'm ranting about. they just go on and on. or maybe i just refuse to be direct, knowing that pple do noe me and this blog's contents will be kinda sensitive. that's the purpose of the previous blogs i had. haha. those blogs are really words from the heart at that point in time. but seriously, why bother finding out? they are in the PAST. and pls dun tell me the famous phrase that says 'it's the past that make you who you are todae' spare me. i noe it well enough to noe it's true.
well my past. it has been beautiful. full of memories. full of tears. full of love. full of sweet stuff. full of sacrifices. a little bit of regrets. i have a fair share of them all. and i wonder how my future will be like. haha. so cheesy. and there was this super random night just before i sleep i prayed. Dear God i dunnoe if it's right to ask of this but can you pls make sure my future husband will at the very least be good-looking?' yah i can hear you laugh now. go ahead. but i noe. tat alone is not important. anymore. haha. talking bout growing up. i have grown taller and i have learnt alot from past potential relationships. wan to noe? you really gotta ask me personally. i dun mind repeating them but it's just too lengthy to spell them out here. however, it's subject to approval. hey i didn't ask you to send in your proposal which must take at least 3 days to process. it's good enough le. =X
alright i guess i'm quite good at rubbishing. and be sure to expect more. but this blog doesn't choose to entertain. i hope.
night (and hello! to my beloved bolster!!)
Labels: Lord?, why am i here on earth
Take my hand and NEVER let me go
Onggie
a very simple girl
a very complicated mind (she has been labeled as overly-thoughtful)
she's made to think that the world is not simple
she's made to believe that she is a stranger to the world
she's convicted that her ultimate home is Heaven, her last desination
Praise be to God,
who has not rejected my prayer
or withheld his love from me!
Psalm 66:20
