helloo! i'm back. with quite a heavy heart. firstly, i REALLY didn't mean to make my dear BRAder cry. sigh. stupid mouth ask stupid question. shucks. i'm like building up a record list of guys crying in front of me. roar. secondly, i have gathered lots of tots from long ago till present regarding matters on marriage, finding the right partner, setting up a family, having crazy ignorant kids you really wanna strangle and maybe.. bout the carnal nature of mankind. ahha. i have and do not really have a rough idea on how i'm gonna post this. it may sound offensive and ridiculous. but hey do remember i have a very kind and friendly soul.
first up, regrettably is bout finding a partner who is LEAST, ABSOLUTELY THE VERY VERY SUPER LEAST resembles or acts like my brother (by birth). not tat i'm interested to find any now. but every time i see my bro, i can't believe we share the same parents. well, he do takes after my father in his young days... very and i really mean VERY bad-tempered, ridiculous, idOitic, anyhow scold anyone who comes along when he's PMSing. basically bastard. and i really really pity his wife and barely one-year-old charming son. his wife used to share a bit bout marriage before they got married. she was a bit scared that she might marry the wrong man. and BINGO! good job. she really went ahead with this wrong one. sigh. they dun usually have quiet days. the bas will be a sissy nag once you activate his idOitic button. and he will go on and on and showcase to everyone that he's angry and pissed overy sissy things when he is. i know i might have sinned. alright. i have. definitely. but he's really a bas. he's super lazy and do not exactly care bout the family. better still, he married a super lazy wife! altogether they hate cleanliness and i honestly doubt whether the word 'hygiene' exists in their vocab. come on! you have a kid now and the most important thing you can ever give to him is to practice personal hygiene such as keeping the rat room you 3 are staying in! you dun store up the USED DIAPERS for as long as your dustbin can hold them! and who cleans up those shit? either me or my mum. poor mummy. when she told his wife to change the bedsheet, my mum was totally ignored. and considering that the kid will also be sleeping on the same bed as the lazy idoits, my mum gave in and changed for them. see? first the temper+smoking+drinking+late nights+laziness. wah! you get something that's too trashy to be mentioned. as i gathered all these experiences staying with them for at least 3 to 4 years, i gathered that i will never marry someone like tat bas and even if i do, i will not give birth and PLAY around with another innocent life. it's injustice.talking bout justice. it doesn't exist. but God knows just wad to do perfectly. i'll leave it to Him. but there's one thing i always feel so heart wrenched over is when i look at Vince (their son). you should have seen his delicate being getting stronger each day, making the best out of everything. smiling at the world as if he has just the best. laughing and squeeling like he has no worries at ALL. his charming smile never cease to make my heart melt and pity him that he has such parents. i mean he deserve better. among all my nephews, he is the most handsome one (at his age, of coz) but i heard handsome babies will usually become ugly when they grow up. ok. no sidetracks. but sigh. i feel very sad and my heart full of pity can only be expressed to this gullible and innocent face. and i noe tat God has been really good to the bas. blessing him with a wife (dunne if that counts as a blessing but at least some being wants him), giving him an almost perfect looking baby, granting him a job tat offers better human-like hours, giving him parents who let him go his way, granting him maids (mum and i). do i hate him? no i dun. i hate his conduct. just as how God loves us but hates the sins. sigh. yup, even if i were to die single, i'd never want such a idOit as the man of my life.
kids kids kids. so much to say bout them. they can really drive you up the ceiling. and i really wonder wad's the joy of having kids. they simply just receive receive and demand MORE and more from you. you just have to GIVE give give out of your love for them. do they noe your love thru that? i dunnoe. from the experiences of my sisters and how they handle and straggle with their kids, i gathered that i'll just be a wife, not a mum. sad huh. it terrifies me when i tot of having kids. i need a man who doesn't pressurize me at all. he'll dirve me to my grave. at least let me first have the dying passion and desire for kids 1st then say. if not. end of story. anyway, being half-mothers of my nephews and niece is not a bad idea after all. sigh. God knows how the future will be like. you see, i'm a very impatient person, esp when it comes to kids. if ever i were to have them, they will definitely be abused. unless. unless. i'm the breadwinner and i have a motherly husband. ahhuh.... tat WILL be different! wahahaha! nah. i dun think i'd like such a man too. lol.
i was at jurong east library todae teaching tuition. then i was reading Our Journey(teenager's version of our daily bread) and then todae's article mentioned bout this Count Leo Tolstoy. he wrote one classic titled War and Peace. and so i went to look for it. haha. saw it and i can't believe it's tat thick.at least 8 to 9 cm thick. seriously no time to read bout it. he's a wealthy Russian aristocrat born in 1828 and went through a life-changing religious crisis in his forties. and so all his books reflects certain situations in his life and so he wrote his experiences as well as short fiction stories AND interpreted the Bible in a different but interesting way. dunnoe if he's bias or not. but i came across this long passage tat hence persuades me to borrow it back. but it's tot-provoking.
Labels: marriage kids
